Should You Tell A Friend You Have Feelings For Them?

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Sophia AveryEstablishing a relationship is a part of life everyone looks into. It is commonly said, “Regardless of what anyone says, everyone gets lonely once in a while.” Unfortunately the percentage of single people in the United States is steadily rising.

Some may say that modern media is making relationships seem intensely more complicated. The common love drama required the love fools to experience a well planned out, and sometimes outrageous adventure before confessing their heart in a dramatic manor. In all actuality the likely hood of you experiencing an event of these proportions, is very slim. The worse part of this is pouring out your heart to the person you care for in a dramatic display can have much harsher consequences than expected. The average person will feel awkward and cornered which triggers the fight or flight response, neither of which answers you would prefer.

On average when someone is rejected the victim of their dramatic love confession asks, “Why didn’t they say something before?” Unexpected love confessions can be awkward and embarrassing. So how do you tell someone you have feelings for them? The answer is much simpler than you might think.

Just say it in an everyday conversation. The goal of this presentation is to let them know you like them for their information. It is best if said in a matter of fact sort of tone. Do not even ask for a response. Telling someone you like them in a simple manner does not put a lot of pressure on the person and they feel like they have control of the friendship. The relationship can then be worked up from there.

Even if they only see you as a friend, a healthy relationship can grow from that. Many times, simply knowing someone likes you can introduce emotions that had not existed before. When the heart is in a state of desire everyone starts looking at their options. You can know for certain that you are one of the options in their mind provided they know you have feelings.

The worst thing you can do is to never tell someone you have feelings for them. To silently watch someone from a one sided love relationship can be one of the most depressing situations anyone can get into. With that in mind it is very healthy mental to always let people know exactly how you feel, even if you do not get the answer you desire. If you are shot down you will be sad, but you at least no longer have to overwhelm your mind with worry

Consider taking these steps to let your friend know about your feelings:

Step 1 -Let your mind wander. Think to yourself about the relationship. Is it worth having your friend as a boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you think they would make a better boyfriend or girlfriend instead of a friend? You might just be feeling lust only, but chances are that most friendships develop into something more than that since the history is there. If you are in tune enough to know about how your friend would react, try to act on that only.

Step 2 -The right time and place. In order to tell them how you feel, it can’t be as you guys are passing each other down the college hall and waving “hi.” The best place to speak about it is inside your homes or somewhere that will allow you guys to sit quietly and not be interrupted by anyone. You don’t want an awkward moment when your sweetie is telling you the answer you have always yearned for.

Step 3 -How to tell them. This is very crucial, just start out by giving little hints and not flat out say that you like them or this would scare them. At first, say something like “I don’t want to ruin our relationship, but…don’t you ever wonder what would happen if we were boyfriend and girlfriend?”. Just see what they say on that. If they seem enthusiastic, that is a good clue they like you too. If they don’t seem thrilled at all, don’t push it or you may just ruin the relationship. This is a very delicate situation, so please treat it like that.

Article entitled “How to tell someone you have feelings for them” written by Robert Vidal,

Pulled on February 10, 2010 from http://www.examiner.com/x-14306-San-Antonio-Relationship-Psychology-Examiner~y2009m6d16-How-to-tell-someone-you-have-feelings-for-them

Steps taken from article entitled “How to tell your friend you have feelings for them”,  http://www.ehow.com/how_5707228_tell-friend-feelings.html

Sophia Avery, MA and Donavan Sterling West are a dynamic Relationship Counseling team!  If you’d like further information, discussion or a Relationship Counseling session, please call us at visit our website at www.ChristianTalkTherapy.com AND  become a fan of the Avery-West Counseling team! Visit our page on  FaceBook  at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Philadelphia-PA/Avery-West-Counseling-Team/273651777811

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