“My Family Loves My Boyfriend, But Behind Closed Doors He’s Different & I’m Confused”

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black family at the kitchen tableDear Gay Best Friend,

I have been dating this guy for two months now and I’m not sure if I should continue dating him. He is a very nice guy. I mean my whole family likes him but, behind closed doors it’s a different story. Like, when were alone we have a tendency to argue a lot and he always makes it seem like it’s my fault. He judges what I wear. He says that my best friend shouldn’t be a guy. He also says that I shouldn’t go out to clubs, and if my phone rings he’s checking it. And, if I’m playing a game on my phone he’s upset.

Now, the good things are that he love’s spending time with me, we talk on the phone for hours, he does whatever I ask of him, he goes out of his way for me, he buy me things, he caters to me, and he listens. I’m so confused because he’s hot, then he’s cold, and I don’t know if it’s just a phase because he does a lot for me and doesn’t want to get hurt, or if he has some issues. What should I do? – So Confused

Dear Ms. So Confused,

In my Janet Jackson voice (Control!) RUN, girl, RUN!!!! Get out of this relationship immediately!!!! If you stay, in month three you will be a domestic violence statistic.

(@  ^  @) Blank stare at you! Girl, you can’t be that damn clueless to recognize the signs of someone who is controlling and most likely an abuser. Wake your dumb ass up!!! All that –ish you find amusing and cute is not!!! It’s not funny, amusing, entertaining, or “Oh, my gosh, he’s jealous, and that means he loves me. And, because he doesn’t want to get hurt, he is hurting me and lashing out.” No ma’am. Leave that MoFo before he starts stomping your ass into the ground.

Look, here, the man argues with you and he makes everything seems like it’s your fault. Hmmmm! So, he turns things around and makes you feel guilty about things he’s done. Everything is your fault. He wouldn’t argue with you, or call you out of your name if you didn’t make him so mad, huh?

He judges what you wear. Perhaps, it’s because he doesn’t want others looking at you and trying to holler, so he suggests and offers alternative things for you to wear.

He says that your best friend should not be a guy. Jealous, much???? He doesn’t want other men around you, and will alienate you from your friends.

He says you shouldn’t go to clubs. That’s because he wants to monitor your whereabouts and if he’s not there with you, then he doesn’t want you there. Especially in an environment where there are opportunities for other men to look at you and possibly approach you.

If your phone rings he’s checking it. Uhm, sweetie, it’s your phone. Why, after two months, he is checking your phone!!!???? He doesn’t pay your phone bill. He shouldn’t even have your passcode to unlock your phone. Please remind me of why is he checking your phone, again? Oh, yeah, it’s because he wants to see who’s calling you, and why, and for you to explain your relationship with each of those persons.

Now, you say the good things are that, “he love’s spending time with me.” Do-Do brain, it’s because he’s monopolizing your time. He stalking you and your time so he can keep tabs on you. Then you say, “we talk on the phone for hours.” Again, ass on your shoulder, if he has you on the phone for hours at a time, then he can keep track of where you, what you’re doing, and slowly alienate you from your family, and monopolize your time.

All the signs he’s demonstrating are that of a controlling and abusive man. Like you said, your family loves him because he’s so wonderful around them. He smiles, and says, “Yes, sir,” and “Yes, ma’am.” He’s outgoing. Funny. Charming. And, engaging. But, as soon as you two are alone he is belittling you, berating you, and making you feel insignificant. All signs lead to an abuser. GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY. He is one step away from knocking you upside your weave. Girl, I don’t want to get another letter from you talking about, “I’m a domestic violence victim. You told my dumbass to leave, but I didn’t listen and now I don’t know what to do because he stalks my every move. Hell, he may be lurking inside the computer as I type this letter. Help me!” LMBAO! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

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