Send your questions to Terrance: email@example.com
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I love the way you put women in their place when it comes to compromising situation. I love the advice that you give and it’s absolutely on point. Just by reading some of the questions women ask you have made me step out of my situation and look into from the outside. I met a 28-year old guy about 19 months ago and I really fell deep for him. He started spending so much time with me and making me feel like he wanted to go farther, but that was an outright lie. I found out that his son’s mother was pregnant for a 2nd time. He was still sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. The ex had a restraining out on him.
He was living in his sister’s basement and then to top it off he can’t read. I started helping him read and going to Sylvan’s Learning Center with him. I just really put my all into him. He constantly gives me his azz to kiss. He won’t answer my calls and then he still sneaking and sleeping with everyone. I would let him drive my car and I would babysit his daughter when he worked on the weekends. I don’t have small children my sons are 17 and 18-years old.
I keep asking him does he want to stop dealing with each other and I feel like I have been used. I left my mate of 26 years that I have been with since I was 11-years old and now he doesn’t want me since I decided to deal with this fool. I NEED YOUR ADVICE ASAP!!! – 37-Years Old In Trouble
Dear Ms. 37-Years Old In Trouble,
Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Your man can’t read and you’re going to Sylvan Learning Center with him. Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! I’m laid out on the floor.
My new motto I’m going to leave with you all each day is something Oprah said on her last show: PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENERGY THAT YOU BRING INTO THIS ROOM.
And, darling, your energy is “F’ing” with me right now. I can’t! I can’t! (Takes deep breaths and exhales slowly).
You are a grown ass woman, 37-years old, and your man who is 28-years old has his child’s mother pregnant for a second time, and he is still dealing with an ex-girlfriend who has a restraining order out on him. You let him drive your car and you babysit his daughter on the weekends while he works. (* *) Blank stare at you. Now, you’re writing to me asking me what you should do? Please baby Jesus make it stop!
So, if he continues to give you his ass to kiss, then why are you squatting and puckering up your big ass red painted lips and sticking your tongue in his ass?
Y’all are going to pay attention when I tell you that d**k is a dangerous drug. Ain’t no way I would be giving Ray-Ray my car to drive and his ass can’t read. You got the game twisted all the way around in the wrong direction. And, hell to the naw, I’d be damned if I would stick around and his baby momma is pregnant, which means he was sexing her raw dog while you two are together, and on top of that he’s sleeping with an ex-girlfriend! Here we go again with dirty community d**k sharing. I bet all of you live within a one mile radius of each other. Hell, you probably all live on the same block. SMDH!
This is why we can’t get ahead as a people because dumb people continue to do dumb people things.
And, you know what I find even more sad and disturbing is that you have two teenage boys who are witnessing what their momma is going through and it pains me that they have to call you their mother.
I’m not going to waste my time or energy giving you advice because you get what you deserve. If you want to continue to put up with this trifling dirty crusty shiftless worthless negro then knock yourself out. You deserve one another.
I want you to ask yourself this question. Why does his ex-girlfriend have a restraining order out on him? Whatever he did to her, he has done to many other women, and he’s doing it to you, or will do it to you soon enough.
Girl, I’m done with you. It’s obvious you love the drama because you’ve been putting up with it for 19 months. And, that’s 19 months too long. The minute you found out he had a baby momma, you should have thrown up the deuces. But, you didn’t. Now, the second minute you found out he was sleeping with an ex-girlfriend who put out a restraining order on him, you should have thrown up the deuces. But, you didn’t. The third minute you found out he got his baby momma pregnant again, you should have thrown up the deuces. But, you didn’t. The fourth minute you found out he couldn’t read, you should have thrown up the deuces. But, you didn’t.
Read all of that back to yourself and I want you to come to the front of the class and tell us how you’re an intelligent, educated, strong, black woman who deserves to be treated like a queen. And as soon as those words come out your mouth we all are going to slap the –ish out of you for lying to yourself and to us. Goodbye idiot! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
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Make sure to get your copy of my book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!